Obama to GOP: PUT IT IN YOUR MOUUUUUTH, I GOT THIS.

Raunchy song title circa 1996 or Obama's 2011 christmas card message to every RNC candidate and donor?



I know this isn't exactly a politics blog. I know my stated purpose here is to tell you what's going on with regards to both bleeps and bloops, but please be excusing me if I can't help but get a boner that could cut diamonds after watching the first black president, in a single week, disprove the fairy tale nonsense that lunatics on the right have used to legitimize their bigotry, kill a dictator's kid, and kill the most comically evil super villain of our time.

For most of my formative years and my entire adult life, I have watched some of the most evil piles of garbage this world has ever known usurp power time and time again under the guise of being the only ones who can keep me safe. They have sold the narrative that if they were to lose power, poorly armed footsoldiers from the middle east were going to sail over here in canoes and behead me like some kind of wacky Arab version of Red Dawn.

In a single move, Obama castrated the dick these shitheaps have been riding for the better part of a decade. "It's a race to the bottom re: your wages and living standards, but at least we'll keep you safe" is officially a dog that won't hunt any longer.

Obama showed considerable restraint in delivering his victory speech tonight. If it were me, I'd be blasting Akinyele throughout the District of Columbia tonight. I would have grabbed my dick so hard on the way out of that press conference, and I would have probably yelled, on at least one occasion, "Suck it." In point of fact, the entire speech might very well have been me loading up the lyrics to Fuck Wit Dre Day on the teleprompter, with "John McCain, Sarah Palin, and Sean Hannity" in the place of Easy-E with regards to the devouring of phalluses.

Addendum: There are various flavors of premium fuckin' stupid on the Internet who will point out that this ultimately changes nothing. Yeah, okay, we can't get all that money back we spent destroying two countries. We can't change the fact that we had a borderline autistic chimp in the seat of power for 8 years. We can't change the fact that we'll all be speaking Chinese in 50 years, or that our social programs are being assassinated, or that we killed a fuckton more innocents than Bin Laden did.

None of that shit changes the fact that we popped the motherfucker, and it's awesome. I hate the fact that these wars have defined This American Decade, and I hate the fact that I'm going to die in a cardboard box because we spent my future on bullets and bombs, but fuck your first year lib-arts/sociology student bullshit, for real. OBL needed to get got, and Obama got it done. I haven't really had the chance to say this much since the election, but I'm proud of our president tonight, proud as shit.