Thursday, May 26, 2011

Good Riddance To Bad Rubbish

David O. Russell has dropped out of his "adaptation" of a series which has brought us the finest single player experience of this generation.

Russell departure comes after "creative differences" with the studio. These "creative differences" may have something to do with the backlash he experienced after basically ignoring the fanbase and the game's premise entirely.

Pretty cool, right? Let's see what David's alternate "interpretation" looks like:

"a crime family that metes out justice in the world of art and antiquities ... They're like the Sopranos in some ways, but they have great taste, and they have a sense of justice." - David O. Russell

Oh, David. Look at you being an ignorant child. Look at you changing an amazing action flick made playable into something your film school buddies can jerk to. Hey, I know, let's just get all the actors back from Huckabees(*) and we can dumb down the source material into First Year Philosophy Class: The Game: The Movie. I know I sure would love to see Jason Schwartzman and Dustin Hoffman talk about nothing for two hours again, this time in an antique store.

But maybe I'm being too hard on David for completely disrespecting a game and a medium more relevant to the new century than his entire body of work. Let's look at the great arTEEST at work on his wank opus.

(*) Well, except for Lily Tomlin. You know, the one you called a cunt in that little tantrum of yours?

One unfamiliar with the series may wonder what the big deal is. The thing about Uncharted is that it is a genuinely well-written piece of blockbuster entertainment in its own right, with characters that stand up to any of cinema's recent batch of action heroes. I would rather guide Nathan Drake through another 12 hour adventure than watch Johnny Depp collect another dump truck full of Disney money. I would certainly rather play Uncharted 2 again than be forced to relive... whatever the hell the last Indiana Jones flick was supposed to be.

The point is that the games industry ought not be star struck by the film industry, especially not by artputzes like David O. Russell. Developer Naughty Dog has created the holy grail - a nonstop playable action franchise with great acting and a script that stands up to any of the genre heavyweights. The desire to cash in on the success of a property is understandable, but game developers need not feel obligated to bend over whenever Hollywood walks in the room. After all, theirs is the most profitable, most intricate creative industry today.

Theirs is the emerging artform of the new century.

Theirs is the future.

Here is a bonus article about George Clooney punching David O. Russell in the face, because fuck David O. Russell.

Friday, May 6, 2011


As the title may suggest, Saturday, May 7th, is Free Comic Book Day. Now, technically, this is a national holiday, but we're concerned about local free comics and that, of course, means Local Heroes Comics in good old Ghent. The festivities start at 10 AM and there will be free bagels and coffee from Yorgo's Bageldashery, free pizza from Cogan's as well as door prizes and give aways. It's a family affair so check for me and my comic book-obsessed daughter soaking up the free-ness. We like free.

"But, Jerome," you say, "what if I'm not that into comics?"

To that, I say the time is now. I wasn't too keen on comics myself until recently. My six year-old daughter begged me to go into Local Heroes one day after the Cogan's lunch buffet to see if she could find a Scooby Doo comic (she did, in the extensive "appropriate for all-ages" section of the store)and I just started browsing. What I found was that it's not all super powers and mutants. It turns out there are rows upon rows of comics about every subject you can imagine. These works of art range from issues as mundane as hipsters trying to make it in Williamsburg ("The New York Five") to abstract travel through alternate realities of one's own life (the excellent "Infinite Vacation"). I mean, if Superman is your thing they've got that too, but there are more options than crime fighting.

And if comics aren't your thing what do you have to lose? It's all free, right? Please come on out and explore your local comic book store, have something to eat and maybe buy that sweet-ass Local Heroes Led Zep tee before it's retired. Happy Free Comic Book Day.

what it do, portsmouth and chesapeake? comedy factory and fantasmo, respectively

Tonight (Friday the 6th of May if yr nasty) Portsmouth and Chesapeake have a few of my favorite things going on.

My comedy pal Tim Loulies has an above-board hustle going on over at Comedy Factory: Code Three in Portsmouth. I'm totally going to tell 20 minutes worth of jokes there tonight as the feature. Tim hosts per usual. Looking forward to seeing headliner Alex Scott. 9pm at Code 3 Tavern. Tim has done solids for me and the funny scene and has the best barbecue I've tasted within his family. He's also deeply entertaining. Come see him and you'll find out what I mean.

My other thing that I love that I'm sad to miss is the great Fantasmo. This is where the wonderful Chesapeake Central Library events FantaSci and Monsterfest mated and gave birth to a cult cinema explosion. For one thing, this library is a state of the art facility with ace sound and vision t
hat lets these cats project things on a big screen. For another thing, when public libraries are known for censorship, here we get a librarian and his funky friend pontificating and waxing
fun on (sometimes hard) R-rated features.

Tonight they take on that most fun and daring and uneven genres, the anthology. Shit, I'm going to miss this night, because I've had good anthology nights there. They let me see some great Amicus anthologies on the big screen, and those things paved the way for the great HBO series Tales From The Crypt.

It should be clear here that there is a great fondness here for EC Comics, which wound up giving us MAD Magazine. The best rubric for the series' that recreated their aesthetic is Creepshow, a faux-EC anthology directed by George Romero and written by Stephen King (who also stars in one sequence). Later in the '80s, Romero did his own syndicated anthology, Tales From The Darkside.

Tonight at 8 Fantasmo will be showing Creepshow in all of its featuring-Leslie-Neilson glory. Following at 10:15-ish will be Tales From The Darkside: The Movie. Ha! I didn't even tell you there was an anthology movie there. That's the old Shamylan twist.

pug collective pug gang pug them all (pugs)

Who likes pugs?

Damn near everybody, including myself. Not enough so that I make a habit of keeping them as pets or following photography and digital art involving them. Still, I respect it if that's yr groove. Fat Little Monketeer Becki Lee is one of those people, and I respect that. I also love that she's Odd Future adamant about it. That is the correct way to be about it. Like that crew of ragamuffin hooligans, she expresses herself through Tumblr. Also I've met her pugs, and they're lovable and a joy to pet, play with, and use as a back pillow, as most pugs are. Furthermore, if she finally gets married I'm hoping her and Sean will both take the last name Donnel-Lee.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Party for your right to fight. Right on.

If you'll scroll down a few posts you'll see that fatlittlemonkey already posted on the difficulty our friend DJ Cornbread had getting permission from the city of Norfolk to DJ in the streets for art everywhere. Despite the fact that no one can find any ordinance that says he can't and despite the "busking" going on around him. DJ Cornbread, of course, explored these loopholes and by-laws until he came to one simple solution. Spin in the streets. Block part syle. So get your cince de Mayo dancing shoes on and head over to Ten Top on Colley at 7:00 to support the dopest DJ in the area while you have a good time to boot. He should be spinning until 8:80-9ish, but if we get there early we'll be able to witness history in the making. Let's do this.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

plan b presents "light rail"

with jason kypros and legendary theatre director robert wilson

subsdance set, 4/29/11

Substance at Hooligans

2301: Ms. John Soda, "Go Check"
A favorite from my college radio spell. Notwist side project.

2305: Lushlife ft/ Camp Lo, "Another Word For Paradise"
I was still hyped on Camp Lo. Those rappers can rap the fuck out of a rap.

2309: Lupe Fiasco, "Go Go Gadget Flow"
Haven't messed with Lasers yet. Very mixed buzz and Lupe seems to resent it himself. "The Show Goes On" is fun and has that Modest Mouse "Float On" earbug going for it, but I wish an album dropped that followed up the neurotic negativity of The Cool.

2314: Massive Attack, "Five Man Army"
People call me tricky for particular reasons.

2319: Prince, "Pop Life"
The crowd seemed like they would enjoy some Prince, and they seemed to. Maybe I was just itching for some Prince.

2323: The Easybeats, "Friday On My Mind"
Well, it was Friday.
Pop Life by tpryorl

2326: The Coup, "Laugh, Love, Fuck"
So I've been laughing, loving, and drinking liquor. Who wants to fuck and make a revolution?

2329: The Faint, "Worked Up So Sexual"
This track was on the classic Office episode "Night Out" as a coked up Ryan is acting such a fool as to make a group of women beat him up.

2332: The Specials, "Blank Expression"
The Specials are Tricky's all-time favorite band, and he slipped a nod to this song into Massive Attack's "Eurochild".

2335: Kid Cudi, "Pursuit of Happiness"
Ratatat...yay! This has two videos worth watching. Play them both at once and see if you can get them synced up.

2339: Jackie Mittoo, "Right Track"
Crucial Jamaican keyboardist getting his Stevie Wonder on in Canada. (Note to self: Stevie Wonder)

2342: Hypnotic Brass Ensemble, "Spottie"
Ill horn conglomerate instrumentalizes OutKast

2346: James Pants, "We're Through"
Cosmic grandnephew of Gary Wilson, also on Stone's Throw now.

2350: Lady Gaga, "Paparazzi"
Girl comes up to me and requests the new Katy Perry on behalf of her girlfriend. I don't have it on my thumbdrive. I ask her if she likes Gaga. She loves Gaga.

2353: Kool Keith, "Make Up Yr Mind"
I will never stop being thrilled with being allowed to blast porno rap downtown, particularly when it is this good.

2358: Neon Neon, "I Lust U"
Last song, and a good one. Technical difficulties fucked it up. Corrected this disservice tonight.